Endoscopy

Poor little G is just having some rough times.  She's never really quit spitting up and the Dr decided it was time to get a better look at what was going on.  so we headed to Primary Children's Hospital and had an endoscopy done on her to get a look.  We are still waiting on results as they had to do a few biopsy's but are hopeful we'll be able to figure out what's going on with her.  It was kind of a scary day.  She had to be put under general anesthesia and have an IV & breathing tube put in, so I was kind of a wreck.  But she did great and was back to her sassy self practically the minute she woke up.  It was so sad to see all the babies there and all of them in their tiny hospital gowns.  Sick kids are no fun.

Memorial Day Weekend

We had a great Memorial Day weekend this year.  Dan was off of school and we had some much needed time together.  The Saturday before Memorial day, we had a BBQ with family & friends at our house.  We busted out the fire pit and had hotdogs, & s'mores.  It was a fun time.

Gwen wore her hair in little pig tails for the first time, and they were absolutely adorable.  I can't wait until her hair gets long enough to do fun things with.

On Memorial Day, we had a BBQ with friends Von & Ash, and Jeff & Kelsey (and their kids)  It was a fantastic time and so nice to just be outside, with great friends, and good food.  I really think this is the best time of year.  Your not ready to melt from the heat yet, and it's staying light later, and it's just perfect.

More Happs

Here are just some cute pics I've taken recently. 

Gwen having her very first popsicle at grandmas.  She could not get enough and was ecstatic that she got to hold it herself, which she's very into these days.  She had a mango one, but her cousin, Ellie had a strawberry one, and as you can tell by how wide she is opening her mouth, she really wanted to taste it. :)  Silly girl.

She loves holding her own peanut butter sandwich (notice the trend?)  She's pretty good at it, so it's actually kind of nice.  The last photo is her finding my lipstick.  It's not a great photo, but she had it all over her mouth, arms, and shirt.  She was so proud of herself though, and was pretty mad when I took it away from her.

She loves Chloe's new house and is always going over and opening/closing the door.  This day, she just had to climb in and see what it was all about.  She would not come out.  She loved it in there, and chloe was getting a little mad/jealous that Gwen was, once again, invading her space.

She loves jumping on the tramp at Grandma & Grandpas house.  Its cute.  She also had her first sucker, and of course loved it.  Dan is too nice to her, and let her have one in each hand.  I think she was pretty much in baby heaven.  And Chloe, seriously?  She thinks she's a human.  Dan is surrounded by silly girls on all sides, but he says he doesn't mind. ;)

15 Months

This little bear is 15 months old. She's still tiny - 19.5 lbs & 28 inches long.

She is getting so big and so smart.  Every day she learns something new.  She is talking up a storm, running around, and being so sassy you wouldn't believe it.

She says an arsenal of words now, some of which are, more, puppy, mommy, daddy, this, bite, pinch, hi, bye-bye, shoes, berries, baby, lunch, bottle, milk, water, snack, cookie, book, read, brush, bath, tummy, snug(we call her little blanket her snug), and my least favorite, NO!

She knows almost all the animals and their appropriate sounds.

She is running now, not just walking, and her favorite past-time is running laps around the island in the kitchen.  She loves her puppy, and most days, it's the first thing she says when she wakes up in the morning.  

She is so curious and has to know what is going on with everything.  

She is so sassy and stubborn.  I already don't know how to parent her most days.  It's very frustrating.

She is feisty and is not afraid to tell you when she doesn't like what's going on.  She can be pretty agressive.

She is so sweet.  After a few minutes of playing alone, she'll come over to me and lay her head on my shoulder, pat my back and give me a love for a few seconds and then she's off again.

She loves to follow me around.  We can never be apart.  If I'm in the bathroom (or using it) she is right there, watching, waiting.  If I go upstairs, she goes upstairs, if I go downstairs, she goes downstairs.  She is always there.  She hates to be alone.

She is still napping great (3 hours a day) and sleeping great (12 hours at night)

She loves to tease.  She knows when she's doing it, and she laughs.  She'll grab my arm and pinch it and laugh and say "pinch".  She loves to tease Dan especially.  She'll go over to him when he's working, lift up his shirt and tickle his back and laugh her face off.  She's pretty silly.

We love her and her sassy, stubbor, sweet self.  She sure tries my patience, but makes up for it with her many hugs and kisses every day.

Springtime Fun

Well, it's finally here!  Warm weather!  We have been waiting for these days all year long, and now that they are finally here we cannot get enough of them.  Here's what's been going on in our lives.  We switched Gwen to a forward facing car seat, and our lives are so much better now!  She was starting to get really fussy in the car and her old carseat was getting a little squishy.  We switched it out for this forward facing one, and she is a happy camper.  She loves looking out the window and reading books in her seat.  Whenever she sees an animal outside the car, she says, "puppy, woof"  It's cute.  Since it's been pretty warm outside, I've been taking her to the park by our house often.  She loves to go for walks on the Jordan River Trail and play at the park they have there.  She loves to swing, and go down the slides.  Whenever she sees a slide, she says, "WEEE!" And, of course, Dan thought it was so cute that he couldn't restrain from buying her a slide to have at our house so he could hear her say it over an over again without ever leaving home. :)

Gwen doesn't really love the grass yet, but I've been trying to warm her up to it.  She does pretty good when I am throwing it in the air and she can watch it fall.  She thinks it's a fun game.

This girl gets into everything.  Anytime I have the fridge open, she runs over and starts pulling things out.  Her favorite thing, is the Hershey's syrup.  Of course.  She is getting to be really playful and loves to do whatever I am doing.  She loves to make messes, and follow me all around the house.  She is at such a fun age right now.

My sister and her husband went out of town the weekend of mothers day so I watched her boys for the day.  We went to the park and the two babies played together really well.  They are so sweet together.  Gwen just calls after Leo where ever he is and Leo just kind of ignores her.  I have a feeling he's going to need to know how to  ignore her bossing him around for the next 10 years. :)

Mother's day weekend we headed to Salem Pond with my mom and dad and 2 nephews.  We used to go all the time when I was a kid, but I haven't been in quite a few years.  It was so much fun.  Gwen loved feeding the ducks, walking around the grass and going for a bike ride.  I wish that park wasn't so far away, it is a beautiful place.

 We are loving the warm weather and being able to get out of the house and have somewhere to go.  It was a long, lonely winter and I am ready for the sunshine, swim pools, and time out of the house, and I'm sure Gwen is ready to run anywhere that isn't our small family room. :)

On Being a Mother

Though I know my short time of being a mother hardly qualifies me to write anything on the subject, I'd like to share my thoughts, experiences, and lessons learned on Motherhood.  I can't express all of the ways that being a mother has changed me, my life, and the way I view the world.  Being a mom is definitely the hardest job I've ever had.  It's filled with the most trying times of patience, of worry, of guilt, of sleeplessness, of doubtfulness  of "am I even making a difference?".  It's filled with a constantly messy family room & kitchen, piles of laundry, lots of spit up, poop, and slime of every kind.  Being a mom is hard.  Period.  

But it has been in this short time of motherhood that I've learned so much.  More than at any other time in my life.  I've learned how to love unconditionally.  Truly unconditionally.  There is nothing my girl could ever do to make me stop loving her.  Sometimes she does things that are really annoying, cause she's one, and I'm about to get really upset with her, and then she smiles that adorable smile of hers, or fake laughs at me, and I can't help but do it right back to her.  I can't deny that I haven't thought of going back to work simply because it's easier and I can physically see the difference I am making.  But in the end, I always choose to stay home because the fact of the matter is that I don't want to miss this part.  I want to be there for as many smiles, laughs, tears, words, steps, tantrums as I can.  Being a mother has completely changed the way I feel about all children.  About the innocence of childhood, about the purity that is so quickly taken from our kids today.  It's made me incredibly protective, cautious and observant of my surroundings.

Motherhood has taught me a deeper, stronger love and respect for my own mother.  For all she did, all she went through for us.  She gave us every opportunity to succeed, and when we didn't, she was there, holding our hands, crying right alongside us.  She was at every soccer game, every track meet, every piano recital.  She is the one who taught me what a mother is.  And my fondest memories of her are not when she was taking us on grand trips, though those are fun memories, but my most favorite memories of her are of when we stayed up late talking, how she'd always wait up for me, how she'd lean across the counter to talk to me and my friends, how she had a spot in the pantry for endless amounts of food for many teenagers, and how she was never too busy to talk me through a problem if I needed it.  She's still the first one I call when I need advice, who I go to when I have a question, and who I lean on when I'm unsure about what to do next.  Being a mother has taught me to want to be the kind of mom my mom is.

Being a mother has taught me to love my body for the miraculous things it's capable of accomplishing, not only for what it looks or doesn't look like.  I am truly grateful for my body’s amazing ability to create and sustain life. Beauty fades, but my child is my legacy, and the joy she has brought me will last my whole life long.  Being a mother has showed me insecurities I never knew I had, showed me strength I didn't know was possible.  Being a mom has given me hope - has allowed me to see the enormous potential in my baby.  It's given me back that child-like excitement, watching her meet milestones, learn new things, and imagine all that she can become.  

Sometimes I worry that I'm not doing enough, that our life is boring.  But then Gwen brings me a book, sits herself down on my lap and says, "boo--" Meaning, book, read.  Then she proceeds to laugh at the pictures, point to the animals and make their appropriate sounds, and babble along with me.  And when we are done reading, she gets pure joy in me chasing her around saying, "I'm gonna get you..."  She gets a happy mischievous look on her face when she's chasing Chloe, getting into the cupboards, or when I offer her a sweet snack.  She's taught me that our life isn't boring, that the world is full of wonder, that we can laugh at little things, and we can make the best memories within the walls of our own home.  She sees the world so much differently than I do - and being a mother has shown me how to look at the world like she does, with amazement.  It's taught me to let the house be a mess, to get dirty, to find joy in the small things that make up life.  

Being a mother has taught me to love Dan in a new way.  It's shown me the sides of Dan I never knew before we had Gwen, and would have never known had we never had her.  It's taught us to love deeper, to form stronger bonds so we can keep our family together.  It's shown me just how soft his heart is, just how far he'd go to protect us, and all he's willing to do to help meet our family's needs; financially, physically, and emotionally.  Being a mother has given me a new appreciation for the gospel and for forever families.

Being a mother has changed my identity.  To a lot of people, I'm not Carlie, I'm "Gwen's Mom"  At first I was sad about this.  I wanted to still be Carlie, to still have my own identity outside of motherhood.  But over the course of this year, in being "Gwen's Mom," I've learned that being a mother is my identity, and it's the identity I was created for.  It's the identity I want to have.  Motherhood has so many faucets and job descriptions, that no one can say, "I'm just a mom." Motherhood is so much more than I ever realized.  So much more than I had anticipated, in every way.  I've learned to be immensely proud now when someone says, "You're Gwen's mom." Because, I am Gwen's mom.  It is something to be proud of.  It's something I work every day at, something I never stop doing, even in the middle of the night.  Being a mother has given me the best gift - my daughter, and the opportunity to be a mom.  There's nothing else I'd rather do, and nowhere else I'd rather be.  Being a mother has shown me that I am capable of the most amazing, trying, yucky, fun, wonderful job on earth.  

But the biggest thing that being a mother has shown me is that I've found a piece of me, separate and apart that all the same I could not live without, because after all, she's the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.  The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, it does -- in every smile, tear, laugh and breath of my child.

April

We've had a busy month!  Nothing too exciting has been going on, but we've just been busy.  Well I guess when your chasing around a one year old all day, it feels that way, even if nothing else is really going on.  Here's what we've been up to:
For the Priesthood session of General Conference, my sister, mom and I took the kids for a picnic a the park and Gwen got in the baby swing by herself for the first time.  She was not too sure about it at first, but she came to love it, and would say "Weee" when I'd push her.  She is also most definitely a walker now.  As of the 1st of April she was tottering around pretty good, but probably the 14th she just got up and started walking, and hasn't stopped since.

This is the story of our life.  Gwen takes out ALL her toys from the cupboard, takes all the book off the shelf, and then just walks around, not really even playing with anything.  So generally, the family room looks like a tornado hit.  She's also taken to walking with her sippy cup.  It's pretty cute.  She's discovered the stairs and she loves to go the the bottom step and kneel and play with toys on it.  It's the perfect height for her to sit and stand without having to do anything else, so that is one of her favorite spots in the house.  She also loves to get into the fridge, cupboards, and anything else she can open/close.

On April 16th, Gwennie Girl turned 14 months old.  I can't believe she's getting so big.  She gets more and more fun, but I do miss her tiny days every once in a while.  The Sunday after she turned 14 months, on our way to church, Dan said, in just 4 months she can go to nursery, and I almost lost it.  She's not big enough for that yet!!

We have fun dressing this little princess up, and she likes it too. :)

My mom and dad have this little toy kitchen from when I was little, and Gwen loves it.  She loves to open the cupboards, take out all the dishes, throw them all over the ground, and then close the cupboard, and say "Uh Oh"  Her favorite dish is the teapot, and she'll just take it every where.  They also have one of those wagons with the big lego blocks in them, and Dan loves to take out the blocks and put a pillow in and cart Gwen around, and she loves it!  She just lays back, relaxes and enjoys the ride.

Gwen loves to hang out with Dan and Chloe, and beg for food from everyone eating.  (I think she learned that from Chloe...)  She loves feeding Dan, and snuggling him when he gives her a snack.  We've been going to the aquarium a few times, and she loves it!  She loves looking at the fish, jelly fish, and penguins.  Eventually, she just ends up lounging back in her stroller, with her feet up enjoying her snacks.

More wagon times with Dad, and jumping on the tramp with Mom.  She loves it.  She also loves hanging out with her cousin Leo.  She tries to boss him around, and sometimes he listens, but usually he just speed crawls away and she walks after him shouting orders.  She is so sassy.

She really loves helping Dan do whatever he is doing.  We had a small mishap with our brand new kitchen floors.  We had a big decorative tile fall from the top of the cupboard and dent the crap out of a few pieces of wood.  So we had to tear up about 1/4 of the new floor and replace it.  Gwen just chased Dan around tackling him trying to help him hammer, or use the staple gun.  When he let her "help" him, she was fascinated.  It was precious.  We also recently celebrated my brother Landon's college graduation.  We had a dinner and good fun chat outside in the beautiful weather, and it was fun to be with the family.

Gwen is loving her baby lately.  She goes over the the stroller, says "Baby" and then pushes her around the family room.  She also love to gouge the baby's eyes, and then give her a love.  It's fun to see her interact with it.  She is so funny, and she is getting so smart every day.  She is talking like crazy and knows how to say book, baby, doggie, mama, daddy, shoes, bottle, yummy, more, sure, yes, this, uh oh, and a few other ones I'm sure I'm forgetting.  She is a little parrot and repeats everything I say.  She calls every animal that she sees a doggie and loves her own dog Chloe. 

Ahh, the joys of parenthood.  I'm so glad it's getting warm outside and we can go to the park and for walks.  Gwen loves the park, and LOVES watching other kids play.  She is fascinanted by other kids, and loves to watch and copy whatever they are doing.  She is so fun and sassy and silly.  She's probably the best baby in the world.